


I Like a Girl in Uniform (School Uniform!)

by LizBee



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Crack, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-03
Updated: 2008-03-03
Packaged: 2017-10-02 17:54:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizBee/pseuds/LizBee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Donna has been rummaging around in the wardrobe room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Like a Girl in Uniform (School Uniform!)

**Author's Note:**

> One day I'll get around to vidding the Pipettes song that inspired the title, but until then, we'll just have to make do.

Donna's voice echoed through the TARDIS.

"AND WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS, THEN?"

"Is it that time already?" asked the Doctor. 

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?" Donna demanded, but before he could answer, she brandished a pile of navy-blue fabrics and said, "and what the hell is all this?"

The Doctor cautiously turned over a tunic.

"A school uniform?  Or three?"

"A SCHOOL UNIFORM!"

"Yes, that's what I said--"

"You told me," said Donna, shaking a tie in his face, "that you were not a serial killer, a stalker, or a pervert."

"Did I?  In those words?  Not that I'm any of those things," he added quickly, "but--"

"How many kids have you kidnapped?" Donna demanded.  "You Martian pervert," she added.

"None!" the Doctor snapped.  "I've never kidnapped -- well, there was Barbara and Ian, but they were teachers.  And there was Jackie, one time, but that was an accident, believe me, and Adric -- no, he stowed away, that's right--"

"Well, then," said Donna, who had quickly learned the art of keeping the Doctor on a single conversational track, "whose are these, then?"

The Doctor picked up a tunic.  "That was Romana's," he said.  "And for your information, I didn't kidnap her, and she wasn't a schoolgirl, she just ... liked it.  In a non-perverted way," he added quickly, because he'd picked up one or two things about Donna's conversational tactics, too.  "She was entirely non-perverse.  Well -- no, that was -- anyway, she was nearly a hundred and fifty, so it wasn't _quite_ like cradle robbing."

"Uh huh," said Donna.  "And this?" 

"Turlough was seventy!" snapped the Doctor, "or something.  I forget.  Anyway, he wasn't human, either.  And for your information, I didn't kidnap him -- he insinuated himself onto the TARDIS to kill me.  So there."

"Sounds pretty sensible, if you ask me--"

"Which I didn't."

"So basically, you travel around with a lot of aliens who have school uniform fetishes."

"That's a complete misreading of the facts!"

Donna picked up the last uniform.  "So who wore this one, a six-hundred-year-old transvestite from Venus?"

"That ... was Susan's.  She was fifteen." 

The Doctor had the forethought to step back, so Donna's slap barely touched him. 

"She was my granddaughter!"

"That's disgusting!"

"...She only wore it to go to school.  It's a school uniform.  It's what people wear.  When they go to school."

"--That's sick, that is, you ought to be locked up--"

Donna was storming off, practically dancing in her glee at having something new to hold over the Doctor.  She was, he recognised wearily, going to get a lot of mileage out of this.

He wondered if he still had time to nip down to the wardrobe room, and hide all the maid's uniforms.

 

end


End file.
